Never say never.

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I was chatting with Maria a few days ago when I was reminded of that old piece of wisdom, “Never say never”. The reason is simple, if you say that, then you have cursed yourself that one day you will do that thing.  Chances are you’ll also want to do it at the time.  I dont know if this curse is a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy; that once you utter the words some evil part of your unconscious remembers them to use against you later.  Maybe its just a sign that as you learn new things and meet new people, your world view will inevitably change.  Its a sign that you are growing and changing as a person.  Or maybe its just that I’m the kind of person who can’t bear to be told I can’t do something, even when I’m doing the telling.  The curse has proven disturbingly true for me for as long as I can remember.

When I was about twelve I was vehement that people who took any kind of drugs were just stupid and that I’d NEVER do anything that dumb.  When I was nineteen and twenty, I was exploring the paths of extra-chemicular activity at some length; always remembering that I said I’d never do that.  Curiously, at the time I was doing that, I hated people who were drunk.  They acted like reptiles and I couldn’t think of anything worse.  I’d NEVER be like them.  NEVER.  It seemed inevitable then, that at some point in my future I would be staggering around St Petersburg at six in the morning unable to even walk upright.

Both times I simply couldn’t picture myself in that situation and both times found myself there after a natural flow of changes over the course of time.  So it is now that I find myself sitting in Jakarta airport waiting for my flight to Singapore.  I’ve already started working for my old company in the job that will become permanent in a few weeks.  I’ll be in Singapore for quite a while I think and I’m l0oking forward to it.  Living and working in a new country will be a whole new experience for me.  Being so central to south east asia means the idea of weekend trips to Vietnam, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and Malaysia is both cheap, quick and will definitely be a part of my life for years to come.  Travelling to Indonesia is likely to be even more common to meet with my girlfriend and explore the country.  The thought is thrilling, but laced with conservatism.  I’ll have a good job in my chosen industry a nice apartment and probably matching curtains.  However, I also discovered that you can own chameleons in Singapore, something I’ll be looking into pretty shortly.

So why on earth would I bring that up?  Well, the truth must be obvious.  When I left Darwin ten years ago, heading for Melbourne, I was offered a chance to find work in Singapore.  At the time I said I’d never go there for work, or anything really.  I just couldn’t picture myself in that situation.  So here I am setting up the next part of my ever changing existence to be close to my girlfriend until we end up together more permanently.  To be living and working in another country, something I’ve been wanting to do for a few years now.  But best of all, none of that will change my ability to travel, in fact, it actually improves it beyond all measure.  It never ceases to amaze me what a change time can bring.

So there’s only one thing left to say.  I will NEVER be one of those damn health nuts who eats properly and exercises daily.  I will NEVER be that kind of smug git who glows with radiant vigour and knows it.  I just can’t see myself in that situation.

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6 comments to Never say never.

  • Jack

    I’ve got a theory:
    Write something out of your life, and you cease to think about it. Cease to think about it, and you cease to worry about it. Slowly it loses it’s hold on you – you don’t put up barriers against it. It happens, and you don’t mind.
    Of course, the old saying ‘Man plans; God laughs’ comes to mind, too.

  • Jack

    I’ve got a theory:
    Write something out of your life, and you cease to think about it. Cease to think about it, and you cease to worry about it. Slowly it loses it’s hold on you – you don’t put up barriers against it. It happens, and you don’t mind.
    Of course, the old saying ‘Man plans; God laughs’ comes to mind, too.

  • dhugalf

    I’ve had a similar theory for some time now… if I write or tell something to somebody else, it gets released from my subconscious and stops tormenting me. This is a good thing if what I’m saying is something I need to stop worrying about and a very bad thing if it’s something I really should be worrying about and acting on…

    An application of this theory explains why so much awesome artwork is produced by artists living a crap existence… they channel the pain into creating the story in artistic form to move it from themselves… this would also explain why so many artists go to shit once they get hugely popular and rich and dont have those stresses to work from anymore….

  • dhugalf

    I’ve had a similar theory for some time now… if I write or tell something to somebody else, it gets released from my subconscious and stops tormenting me. This is a good thing if what I’m saying is something I need to stop worrying about and a very bad thing if it’s something I really should be worrying about and acting on…

    An application of this theory explains why so much awesome artwork is produced by artists living a crap existence… they channel the pain into creating the story in artistic form to move it from themselves… this would also explain why so many artists go to shit once they get hugely popular and rich and dont have those stresses to work from anymore….

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