2011 July « The Dhugal Universe

Those Evil Christian Terrorists

We all saw on the news recently how a single Christian male terrorist bombed a building in Oslo, Norway to cause a distraction and then drove to an island hosting a large campground meeting and attempted to kill everyone there. He seems to have been fairly successful with a total death toll of 76 from both incidents. 76 random youths who will never see their next birthday or watch another sunset.

And for what?

This time we hear his plan was to start the revolution to eject Muslims from his society. Apparently those filthy Muslims are eroding the Christian way of life where a man can kill his fellow countrymen with impunity. Imagine what Norway would be like under Muslim rule! No longer can a right-thinking man dress as a policeman and murder dozens of people in cold blood. It’s the end of civilisation as we know it!

The most curious thing is how much he resembles the group that he hates the most. So we have an individual who believes he is fighting a righteous war for God, to bring everyone to the truth of Christianity and the way to do that is to kill innocent civilians in a random and haphazard way. Sounds like the kind of suicide bomber we’ve got used to hearing about for decades. However, he doesn’t see himself that way at all…..and there are some differences.

Firstly, the bomb was mostly a distraction to keep the police busy. His plan was not to go up in flames as a martyr, he planned to live as a figurehead for the cause.

Secondly, he went further than your average suicide bomber by engaging in the massacre shooting – his main event. He actually disguised himself as a police officer, which allowed him to carry the firearms he needed onto the island. This requires a lot more dedication to the cause of murder. Setting off a bomb is over in an instant. Loading, aiming and squeezing the trigger to take another life is very different. That requires a special devotion to your cause. I wonder if the Jihadists will take this as a call for them to improve their game from simple bombings?

Finally, and perhaps most telling, his targets were not Muslims. He killed Christian youths who belong to the Norwegian political party that he sees as responsible for the influx of those damn foreigners. So where Muslim Jihadists take the fight to the enemy, this guy takes the fight to other Christians. So he’s smart enough to avoid detection before committing this atrocious act, but not smart enough to actually think through what the hell he’s doing.

I suppose in his mind he was the instigator and the perpetrator, so if he died, there’d be nobody to explain the righteous glory of his actions. Although he did make sure to send his manifesto to a large group of people just before starting his holy war. His Jihad. There, I said it.

So he’s just like the Jihadists he fears and hates, only dumber.

Why dumber? So who is he going to ignite with the fury of religious revolution? The majority of people in any western country just aren’t interested in this kind of nonsense. They watch it on films, they read about it on the news and then settle down to watch TV with some beer or hot chocolate, while wondering if the weather’s nice tomorrow or their footy team will win on the weekend. They have jobs and some security, they’ve bought into society and society rewards them with 100 TV channels, internet access and a safe life. A safe life far from the terrorist madness at the far-flung ends of the earth.

Well, it was safe. You thought your children would be especially safe at the official camping event. You’d think the only thing to worry about was wild animals or accidents. It’s safe here in your own country, far from the madness of those crazy Jihadists. Then, in one news report, that comfort zone is torn away. Torn away by a white, Christian, Norwegian man. Not some Arab-looking guy screaming threats at you. Not even a Muslim threatening your way of life. A white Christian who thinks there’s too many foreigners, too many Muslims in your country. But why is he killing Christians? It doesn’t make sense.

Hell, you even thought there were too many foreigners a few times when you bumped into them at the supermarket. But this terrorist could be me, or my neighbour, or someone I know. I dont want to kill anyone, I just want to enjoy my life in safety. And I will never support anyone who thinks killing our children is a good idea.

Are the masses really going to be ignited to begin a religious, racial revolution? I think they would be better advised to try to protect themselves from future crazy Christian terrorists. But will they?

Already the distancing has begun. I think the fear that it could be anyone you know makes you want to blame something else. You’ve lost that clear line of ‘Us’ and ‘Them’. It wasn’t that he was a militant Christian reading and sinking into the right wing, mass media hype about Muslims. It wasn’t that he had access to those firearms and the police uniform. It wasn’t that he planned the attack for years, telling himself he was a soldier of the lord, believing he was doing God’s work.

He played violent videogames. He watched violent TV shows. That must be it. He must have had a bad childhood. He must be addicted to drugs. If only he had turned to Christ in his hour of need…..oh hang on…if only he hadn’t watched those music videos with almost naked women.

There’s no way a Christian would do something that blatantly evil. Am I right?

I can almost see the back slapping right wing Christians finding ways to pin this on their current program to ban something else. The hypocrisy they show is phenomenal. Making excuses for this vicious massacre whilst at the same time being horrified that Muslims still live their lives unoppressed. As a matter of historical fact, Christians have been responsible for some of the most horrific massacres in the history of the world. And yet, the distancing is in place. ‘That wasn’t my church’, ‘that was bad men at the time acting against the church’…..’We’re not as bad as those evil Muslims’.

The reality is humans are more the same the world over than they are different. On a daily basis, everyone has the same needs. Everyone has hopes and dreams. Everyone wants to live well and to provide a better life for their loved ones.

It just feels wrong when those hopes and dreams turn into a design for unrepentant mass murder. Both the Bible and Koran agree on that point; Murder is wrong.

So why do these stupid humans keep doing it in the name of a God who has so clearly told them not to? …and then, worse, the same people rationalise it, justify it and defend it?

This Norwegian man is completely unrepentant. He thinks he is a figurehead, leading the cause.

He’s just another citizen of a wealthy country with too much time and money. If only he had spent both positively. Imagine if the headline was “Norwegian man spends nine years developing a permanent solution to provide free education for the world’s children”.

Wouldn’t that have been a better day?

Ridin’ Singapore

Gliding past cars parked in queues at traffic lights is one of the many buzzes of riding a bike to and from work in Singapore. They grind to a halt and I fly past, keeping left and out of the grates covering the drains. The grates are just wide enough for my wheel to slip into as I found out one fateful day. It’s just another street obstacle in the city now.

Push, push, past the busy businessmen now sitting in their cars waiting for the traffic light gods to favour their path home. Past the tired workers spending their time locked in their little steel boxes. Past the motorbikes and scooters, for some reason they wont navigate the smaller gaps between a bus and the pavement. Rolling free on my bike, watching the people waiting at bus stops for the bus I passed five minutes ago. Watching for the taxi drivers who always think they own the road. My pedal can do more damage to your side panels then you can inflict on me travelling at ten kilometers an hour in city traffic.

And you’ll never catch me.

Awesome, a pedestrian crossing. And now a miracle of modern science occurs as I transform from being part of the road traffic to being a pedestrian. The dual nature of a bicycle on the road seems little understood by governments, perhaps it’s an application of a new Uncertainty Principle. Only close observation at a point in time can establish if it’s a car or a pedestrian. And most cyclists take advantage of that uncertainty every day. Especially in a city like Singapore that doesn’t really accommodate bicycles at all. It’s actually illegal to ride on the pavement, but there are no bike paths. There are some ‘park connector’ roads that are meant for pedestrians and bicycles, but they are regularly interrupted by stairway highway crossings that defeat the purpose. Parks accommodate bikes, but getting to the park can be time consuming if you don’t put your bike in a car first. And you can’t take them on the subway. Well, you can, but only a collapsible bike that fits within specific dimensions you see on signs in the train stations. Nobody rides their bike to work either. In a 25 storey office building there are only five people who ride a bike to work. Which is lucky, because there’s only one shower in the whole building. The building was only completed last year and thus represents Singaporean policy and attitude to bicycles perfectly.

The strange thing is that the government has made it prohibitively expensive to own a car in Singapore. After you buy your certificate of entitlement and then paid the phenomenal tax on cars, you’re down at least $60,000 without evening paying for a car. You may as well get a bike. The Indian and Malay locals do that everywhere and use very simple, small bikes as their main transport to get around. It’s a common sight to see someone pedaling up the road with a basket full of stuff balanced on the handlebars or packrack. A smile and a wave as I sail by is always returned happily.

I slide across the intersection with the pedestrians and then change back to being road traffic. After passing some more buses parked at the lights I make my way to the next intersection and stop a few metres in front of the first car. In Singapore you are required to make yourself visible when stopped at traffic lights by moving to the front like this. Which only makes it better when the lights change and I cross the intersection before any cars can. The power to weight ratio of a bike gives you enough acceleration to do this most times, only dedicated leadfoots in small, powerful cars can beat you.

Now it’s a T-intersection that traffic is stopped at, but I want to go straight ahead and there is no street on my left. PING! I’m a pedestrian. PING! I’m a car continuing my journey happily. I know this duality will probably have me stopped by an undercover policeman one day, but my story is prepared and I’ll see how long I can keep him talking about it. As long as I’m not obstructing traffic or endangering myself, I can’t see any real issue with taking advantage of the confusion. Cyclists here are third class road users to anything with a motor; until the government wakes up and changes that, I cant fell guilty.

The Chinese Singaporean approach to bikes is what you’d expect. Most people only ride at night or weekends where there is less or no traffic. But the riding isn’t so important. What’s important is that you have the latest brand name Kevlar – Carbon fibre mountain bike with the most expensive accessories you can import from Europe. Because Singapore has massive off-road mountain tracks for you to challenge yourself against. Somewhere. I’m sure they’re hidden behind the single large hill in the country which stretches to a phenomenal 164 metres above sea level. If you could actually get to the top. While you’re looking for those tracks you’d better buy the latest brand name cycling clothing and be sure to be noticed wearing it whilst drinking from the brand name water bottle attached to your bike with the designer clasp and preferably drawing attention to the brand name watch that measures your heartbeat while you ride a whole kilometer before stopping at an intersection again.

I’m near home now, one more corner, and I become a pedestrian to turn straight into the one way street. I decide I’m just going to keep being a pedestrian until I park my bike in my apartment’s basement. Another ride finished and the buzz of riding through that traffic stays with me long after the shower washes away my sweat and the day at work.

Those Evil Christian Terrorists

Ridin’ Singapore

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